Lately it's been hard to breathe..

but maybe if I take it slow,it would work better. Breathe in* breathe out.
Crying is not part of the plan. Neither is wallowing in misery.
Eating? A HUNDRED AND ONE FUCKING PERCENT YEAH.

But then the little voice in my head goes "TOO FAT TOO FAT STARVE YOURSELF." to which I respond "To hell with." I'm suffering major emotional issues,the least I deserve is packet of M&Ms..or two. ( at the moment,I could even blame in on my ongoing period cravings. Oh yeah,I'm cunning like that.)


No..But I might feel guilty later on and then,I'll feel so horrible and fat and disgusting and convince myself that I am destined to a life without self control.
Back to square one : wallowing in misery.




Welcome to my life.

You May Say I'm A Dreamer But I Am Not The Only One.

John Lennon,makes sense. To be specific,Imagine makes so much of sense - as much sense as a song can make. It could be on replay the entire day and I still wouldn't consider it 'overplayed' like how some songs,after you hear so much of it..you subconsciously tend to press forward whenever it plays but not a John Lennon and definitely not Imagine. Ironic how you make such amazing music and what you get in return,is speeding bullets penetrating your body,piercing through your aorta. Likewise,you express peace through songs of determination and faith,but at the same time you're diagnosed with malignant melanoma and your vital organs begin to deteriorate. I suppose every little thing didn't turn out to be alright for Bob Marley - king of reggae.
I've always wondered,how on earth did Yoko Ono survive the death of the love of her life? It does make me cringe whenever I think of losing you but what I fail to realize is that I lost you a long time ago.

...you don't even know who Yoko Ono is.





'Something always brings me back to you and it never takes too long."
My words were harsh and blunt but we can't keep running in circles.
Its 12.30 and I miss you.

You With The Sad Eyes,Don't Be Discouraged //

I have proven to myself YET AGAIN that I can't seem to follow through on anything. How? This blog has been left unattended for so long. And again,I find it so easy to click "delete all posts" and poof,a year of memories- deleted. Maybe I do need a fresh start,but deleting all your posts in a pathetic blog doesn't do that. I could still give it a shot.
Whether this fresh start will result in change is besides the point.
Either way,I can assure you that I will try my level best to keep this thing alive because I want to be able to look back at the things that have happened in my last year in high school. As of now here,the past four years never even happened.
So maybe this might be the best place to : start over.




To the boy in Illinois,Avatar did win the Oscars.